I don’t think I have ever been as unhappy in life as I am right now.
Nothing is going right.
I am supposed to be doing a research paper that’s due…today…
I CAN’T FOCUS.
There is seriously too much on my mind and its killing me man.
Nothing is what it used to be.
My friends aren’t much my friends anymore,
I am always working,
& I am heartbroken.
Sure there are things that make me smile a little throughout the day, but at the end of the night, I am UNHAPPY.
I just want things to change….
I never thought it would happen again,
I never thought I would know what if feels like again,
I never thought I would be able to open up again,
But, I am falling again.
I am starting to really like someone,
But I can’t make myself seem vulnerable.
I don’t want it to show that my feelings are there,
Because I don’t want his feelings to leave.
I really like him though,
I want him to stay around for awhile. <3
One of the worst, if not the worst things you can do to a girl is give her mixed signals.
A girl’s heart shouldn’t be messed with like that!
Either you like her or you don’t.
Don’t lead her on!
Has anyone ever felt the feeling of loneliness?
Not just knowing you’re lonely, but actually feeling like there is a piece of your heart missing, or a lack of something in your body?
I just feel this loneliness sometimes,
I’ll get jealous of seeing people so happy talking to their “boo’s”
I don’t have one, and haven’t had one in years…so yeah, I’d say I’m pretty lonely.
& I am still not over my ex. We used to message each other back & forth and this is what he once said to me…
Alyssa!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you so much baby! I miss you!
Baby you and me forever is what i want. I cant see myself with anyone else but you. I want you to know that you complete me and you just give me the best feelings that i could ever have. My feelings for you will always be the same. I cant see myself with another girl Alyssa, i dont give a care in this world for any other girl. Thats because i know what i have and I’ll do anything and everything to keep you in my life. Your the only girl that i’ll ever want and need. I remember when we broke up i just felt horrible. I told my ma and everything, i was so sad. I didnt know how and where our relationship went wrong. But i know this time around it’ll be perfect. And the reason for that is that your a perfect girl. Like i was telling you the other night, God really took his time when he made you because your a masterpiece. I couldn’t have asked for a better girlfriend. Im so so so happy that your in my life baby. I love you to death and i’ll do anything for you just ask me. I’ll always be there for you no matter what, whatever your going through im going through. Im so glad to be your boyfriend. You dont know what that really means to me. And like this go time around for us I can like really feel your love for me. Its not like I didnt feel it before but its like it changed for the better. I cant wait to ask you to marry me, I know will be one of the most happiest days of my life. Thats because forever with you is where I want to be. Baby one day I want to give you everything that you want and need. Im just so crazy for you Alyssa, im so obsessed with you! I love you! I always think back to the old days where we use to be together. The bus rides home, walkin you to class, kissin and hugging in the hallways. I miss that baby. But everything will be alright because i know sooner than later I’ll have you in my life like i want you to. Well baby im kind of tired of typing, haha but there so much more i could say. Im just happy that your my girl again and that you want to be in my life forever. I also thank you for taking the time out to send me that message, both of them because they really mean alot to me. I love you so much Alyssa and i miss you! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
I don’t know if I miss him or if I miss being in love….
I thought Tumblr was supposed to be an escape from reality.
It isn’t….it fucking isn’t.
After awhile everyone starts to hear about it, and eventually get one. Soon everyone around you has one, and you’re back to where you started, having to search for another escape.
Like, this whole week i’ve been attacked on my weight.
Yes, I’ve tried to lose weight. ITS NOT FUCKING EASY!
THERE IS SO MUCH I FUCKING WANT TO SAY, BUT MY TEARS ARE JUST SPEAKING FOR ME. SO WHATEVER
Something or someone has to come around and ruin it.
What is so wrong with not being a certain size?
Big is beautiful.
Average is beautiful.
Skinny is beautiful.
Why can’t people pay attention to more things about a person besides the way they look?!
I know I am not skinny, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.
I may never be skinny, and I am going to eat whatever I want, because I am young, and I’m sorry I am not one of those girls who can eat any damn thing and not be affected by it.
It’s whatever, I guess I feel a little better typing this though.
I really miss my ex boyfriend.
We have been broken up for almost 3 years now.
I guess it was real love because I still love him.
& I think about him every now & then.
It makes me sad knowing things could have been different if we didn’t both move away from each other.
Now I am stuck with “what if’s”
-______________- fizzuck my lizzife.
I just want to be in love like I once was…only better.
Guys don’t want to be in love anymore.